Answering “The Myth’s That Make Us” Podcast Questions:

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Answering “The Myth’s That Make Us” Podcast Questions:

I’ve been enjoying pondering the “rapid fire” questions on Erick Godsey asks to close his podcast “The Myth’s That Make Us” and decided to enjoy my preference of slow paced environments to answer them while being publicly vulnerable behind the protection of flowery verbiage:

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Life Philosophy:

Observe the forest, see the trees.

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Who Are You?:

I am an amalgamation of all the data I have taken in, including programming and software updates that allow me to rewrite code and delete useless information.

I like matter I perceive as beautiful and believe I honor and respect those I come in contact with.

Visit www.noahmoves.com/blog/2019/5/26/who-are-you for a longer philosophical musing/blog on this question

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What are you most afraid of:

Abandonment, isolation and loss of autonomy 

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What is your most persistent problem:

Not being my own advocate and feeling paralyzed by an inability to change a situation that doesn’t work for me

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More Street Smart or Analytic?

Fair balance of both

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Do you prefer fast or slow paced environments:

Slow

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Rule follower or Risk taker:

Somewhere in the middle. I take risks when I have a strong stance against the rule and follow them when the risk feels to high in taking a stand.

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Is your need for control low, medium or high?

I would say it is low, but ultimately that is only in the very short term. If I sense that I lack control I have a tendency to disassociate and move through tasks with a robot like methodology in a state of waking relaxed catatonia. 
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Are you more intellectually or physically competitive?

I would tend to say neither externally but both equally internally. A lack of personal development and growth can lead to my feeling a sense of being lost.


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Are you more critical of yourself or others?

Until very recently I would have said myself beyond any comparison, but I’m beginning to see my own shadow as well as my light in others and while I am still working up the courage to give voice to it, a balance is being sought.

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Pressure comes from?

Mass and gravity create pressure as does the importance of a thing, the magnitude and the time in which it must be handled. 

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Pressure feels like in the body?

Tension (mostly in the chest, difficulty finding breath)


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In my tribe I am (King/Queen, warrior, magician, lover):

Magician 

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It all comes down to:

Being awake, even when you are sleeping


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Success is:

Following one’s “will”

Ideas such as Aleister Crowley’s “do what though wilt” to speak of someone’s essentially Divine Purpose.

Or the colloquial use of the word “willpower” to denote something superhuman. The achievement of a belief rather than a previously observed capability.

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Love is:

Recognizing a divine purpose in others around you and allowing that understanding to influence your personal trajectory.
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My Vision:

To be surrounded by abundance and choose to take less.

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I am:

Is a similar statement to “I will”

It is regarding the present moment and not a reference to previous versions of “my” self. When one says “I will be there” they are essentially deciding to be there. Will can be seen as “am”. In that moment I “am” there. 

Whatever limited qualifier I might add after the “I am” actually can’t ever be the thing. It would be more accurate to say I am: “not that” than to say I am “this”

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My purpose:

I don’t believe in purpose, but I do believe in matter. So I have to say my purpose is to matter. To exist in a way that looks and feels purposeful to others. To matter to them and to myself.

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The most defining moment of my life:

Birth, death (all of them, the little one’s and the final one) and now


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You know you are going to die in 24 hours, peacefully in your sleep. How do you want to spend that last day and who do you want to spend it with?

Largely myself and in my body. It would look a lot like an ideal day off looks for me now.

I’d want to wake up next to a lover and be embodied together. Sit and meditate, enjoy some coffee and cannabis, listen to music and skim some philosophical thought. Go to the park to practice some movement, take a break to journal for a bit. Afternoon sex. A late lunch with family and friends, probably go for a walk in the woods or by the ocean (whichever is accessible). Watch the sunset and sit by a fire with some of my dearest. Retire to do some yoga and meditation and pass peacefully on the floor in savasana.

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You can leave a note to the youngest generation of your family (great grand nephew/niece):

You are more powerful than you can possibly imagine and the you that will sculpt the reality you imagine is going to die... So build/be something you and others can appreciate.

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Who Are You?

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Who Are You?

I found myself cringing while re-reading my response to the question “Who are you?” from an instagram post I made the other day:

Who Are You?:

I am an amalgamation of all the data I have taken in, including programming and software updates that allow me to rewrite code and delete useless information.

I like matter I perceive as beautiful and believe I honor and respect those I come in contact with.

Not because I disagree with it necessarily but rather the answer I gave might give the impression that “I” am a hyper-rational atheist, which feels quite far from the truth “I” feel. I interpreted the question “Who are you” as asking about my thinking “I” but I would like to pose a scenario where there are multiple “I’s.” At least two “I’s” are often talked about in spiritual literature from different traditions, this might be seen as the self differentiated from “God” and the one in union with God/dess. Anyone who has felt themselves swept up in romantic relationship may recognize a diffusion of “I” where (at least) in a social context, individuals may often be referred to and seen as a pair.

While far less romantic a term, I used “data” the other day to include interpersonal relationships, books, art and even the diet that forms our microbiome and has as much affect on our mood as does the weather and every other bit of significant and insignificant “data” that makes up all of our conscious mind. Similar to how the “big bang” (the appearance of something from nothing) is “the” miracle from which we explain everything in existence, there is a piece of the conscious mind who’s data seems to be non-local. Current human society has gone from technology accessing hard-wired data, to the cloud. The metaphors that are available to us in our current technological age are the most complex that we have been offered throughout history, and it is always good to remember that “the map isn’t the territory” and a metaphor helps to look at the thing it describes, not explain it.

Non-local data “is” data that isn’t stored on the “machine” with which it is being accessed. If you have meditated (long enough and with technique) or done a high dose of psychedelics (in the appropriate set and setting) you may have glimpsed the “I” that exists beyond the “thinking I”.

We culturally refer to the aforementioned events as “Ego Death”. Though in these experiences the thing we call Ego isn’t dead in terms of finality. It is possible, ideas of reincarnation have their roots in this visionary experience. To use my previous metaphor, the machine (generally) reboots and again resumes believing the data that makes up the thinking mind is “itself”. At one of it’s lower values the thinking mind may interpret the occurrence as a “trippy experience”. At the higher ideals we begin to recognize a very powerful bit of consciousness that exists beyond the thinking mind, my favorite term for this bit of “data” is the “observer”.

“I” (the thinking I, the one writing this post) might distinguish the “i” that is a son, from the “i” that is a friend, brother, lover, student, teacher or any other smaller “i” identity that attaches my conscious mind to data that is local, (stored in my brain). The brain can be seen as a machine accessing (and also interpreting) data, and we utilize tools to access and interpret that data that were created by tools of science and further on down the path of atomization (the investigation of the individual/separate parts interacting with one another).

Existence creates division that besets one and two by creating a distinction: If “I” am to be “this” therefore “I” ultimately can not be “that”.

The main distinction I feel, hesitantly confidant in making, is between where the observing “I” and the thinking “I” have their attention focused.  The thinking “I” is limited by the bounds of space and time and thus concerned with temporal existence. The thinking “I” is thus primarily involved in the work of assisting and progressing other Individuals that make up “c’s” in the forms of couplings, communities and cultures. While the observing “I” is instead focused inwardly. A place degrees more Infinite than the space that is outward. This does not imply a value judgement and I ask you reader, to keep in mind: just because one looks in a direction doesn’t mean the gaze will not periodically relax to take in the information on the periphery of the focus.

I suppose this is the burden of our schizophrenic species, existing in two places at once we must learn to look in opposing directions to awaken into the simultaneous being of existence and non-existence, connection and separation that is called enlightenment, Buddha nature, Christ consciousness or another metaphor for something that is foolish to attempt to explain in the atomizing tool that are words. Yoga (Most easily defined as union) practices are multifaceted tools for looking, but while science’s gaze is primarily focused upon examination of the external and atomizing, Yoga tends to look internally and approach problems holistically. I believe we are in a world madly seeking balance, not a war that ends with who is correct the materialist or the spiritualist but rather one that will assuredly lead to mutual annihilation unless we foster an ability to see where our goals and visions line up even if our stories differ.

With the move toward “mindfulness” and other such “buzz words” as Yoga has become, in this post I would like to advocate for a minimum of two practices, the contemplative and the meditative, to appease the division of self created perhaps by the “eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”, or perhaps by the rational mind’s need to work on solving the puzzles of existence. Or perhaps Capitalism or Communism, Left and Right and every other simplistic dualistic way of mapping existence for easier consumption.

The contemplative and the meditative. The thoughtfully directed and the vast ocean of awareness. One practice that persistently judges and another that openly perceives. A healthy society built around growth and progress tends to value one, while a stable culture designed around spiritual foundations will gravitate toward the other. Even in our divisions of philosophies:

Atomism (all things are made up of independent parts) and Holism/Wholism (all things are parts of a whole) we begin a war using two different maps for the territory of “everything”. Atomism and Holism are merely the two directions we must look: inwardly and outwardly, recognizing the finite nature of existence and the infinite nature of consciousness. If I am my intellect and my ability to reason I will assuredly be disappointed when that goes away but if I am awareness, my loss of the ability to name a thing in the language of my parents is no loss of self but rather the acquiring of a new dialect that makes the old ways of communication incapable of speaking truth.



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What Should I Feel?

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What Should I Feel?

What should I feel?

It is a question every Yoga teacher gets asked and sometimes we foolishly and audaciously give an answer. Any therapist who tells their patient what they “should feel” would be overstepping their role in supporting a healing process toward self reliance but we speak to sensation in the body in absolutes all the time.

“Here is what you should feel”

My father, when viewing videos of me lifting, always declares he doesn’t want me to hurt myself and adds (very colorfully) “my balls would be on the floor if I did that!”

Perhaps more egregious, I have been told what I would feel at the finalization of my divorce papers and would like to add it wasn’t as predicted by passing observers.

I can tell you as someone who believes themselves to be intimately aware of sensation in my body, I believed my right glute to be activating equally to my left, only to learn it is the latest piece toward solving this 10 year knee injury/instability.

Sensation in the body: areas used, abused, worshiped and demonized all hold different meaning and significance in our internal experience. How interesting to muse upon the stories this may speak to our character or the story that surrounds our experience (perhaps a hip girdle that lacks the ability to stabilize us or perhaps a shoulder girdle inhibited in its ability to fully embrace or proclaim its presence to the world).

But: What should I feel?

Pain? Numbness?

Energy? Or lack their of?

Only you individually can know “what you should feel?” and even then!

As my teacher Nevine Michaan has so beautifully instilled in me “what feels right is often only what is familiar.” Dualities of “right and wrong” teach us nothing, but rather it is most advantageous to have maps toward the experience you wish to feel rather than feeling your way into a familiar position.

As other teachers have taught, “the map is not the territory” (Korzybski) and “some maps are better than others”(Wilson) and better at navigating different/specific terrain.

Know that any one that tells you what “you should feel” allows you only to rely on intuition, and worse yet not even your own intuition!

Intuition is a map, though it is solely your own and this single map can not fully be interpreted by any algorithm yet known to me, though some may feel differently in regards to the faith and dogmatism of their own maps. I believe we often think of people who have talents as a form of intuition, but maps/talents become outdated as new roads are paved, and without updating them we live in an endlessly confusing loop of physical, mental and spiritual culs-de-sac.

I’m asking the question where would I like to go a bit more these days, instead of, which path feels best. Sometimes the best map we have brings us through rough territory and only we can know how rough is too rough. Sometimes we are walking down a dark alley and a guide may tell us “this is the way, don’t be afraid” but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t “feel” afraid, only that we shouldn’t become that fear. We must walk through the alley feeling our fear and using the sharpened senses that accompany it to move unabated, or we have to walk out of the alley knowing there was a better map toward our destination.

Here is to the map makers that came before us and here is to using our intuition to know that the person reading the map has our best interests at heart and has the full understanding of the territory with which we are all too acutely familiar. The unique place of our individual personal experience.

Yoga is a map, which might lead one toward more awareness but we will have a hard time helping a colorblind person see red simply by telling them to perceive it with the same eyes that looked countless times before.

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